¡CraftCrap Patch: Teen Angel Magazine Patches!

Just had to share my recent craft adventures with Avery Dark Fabric Iron On transfer paper. I really love love love the art work and history of Cholo/a magazine Teen Angel. (Shit my DNA is half chola anyways whaddya 'spect?!) As a kid I would walk the swap meets and see people selling these suckers like hot cakes and I couldn't help but admire the simple yet complex beauty of cholo art. 

Here's my shout out to all the homies who made it possible And for the lovers too: 

This image isn't from Teen Angel. I found it on Pintrest and fell in love!

-The C.C.Q

¡CraftCrap Queen: Frida Khalo!

Lets face it. Frida is/was/has will always be a badass Latina. If you've read my other posts then you know Frida and her fem-'stache have been a guiding light for me since my youth. I decided to take this military-esque jacket my sister gave me years ago, revamp it from a revamp i had already given it (my kids said it looked like something Michael Jackson would wear... Ehhhh...) and show the world her girl-power influence on me through my CRAFTCRAP!!!!

Here's a quad shot of the process:

This was def not something that came together quickly. A lot of thought went into everything. Days ago I did a post on teaching myself one-stroke painting and it was specific to this project. Not too shabby considering I didn't do a practice run w/any flowers b4 hitting up this canvas. Just went for it. Scrap fabric for patches. Sharpie paint pens. Jewels. Vintage jewlery charms. An actual AK47 bullet. Few fake roses. Glitter. And of course: Studs! The image itself was one I found online (probably Pintrest) and printed onto Avery Dark Fabric Iron On paper. I freakin love that stuff!

Anyways, I think it's important to note something here. The words "La Jefe" are written on the bottom of the jacket for a reason (other than then obvious: Boss Bitch In The House!). Some may argue the use of "la" being incorrect as it is feminine and "jefe" is a masculine form of "boss." I used these two words specifically to address Frida Khalo's dichotomy of female empowerment crossed w/a masculine essence that doesn't give a fuck. (GOD! I love her!) This image for me as a tomboy Latina kid meant so much...ah! Another story for another day!

The down side to this jacket: it's a size SMALL!! I'm gonna have to lose my baby making hips and fat back rolls before I'm rocking this. For now it shall hang in the closet :*(  *tear*

-The CraftCrap Queen

¡CraftScraps: Loungey Pants!

I had a vision the other day to make the most ridiculous purse out of all of my scraps. They really take over ALL of my craft areas. Straight spewing out the top of the drawers. Well I got to it this morning and while it looks like my purse dreams might have to hit the back burner (cuz I went too wide with my scraps.), I've decided to press on and make some loungey pants. I know I messed up a wee bit on those Skeletor yoga pants the other day, but fuck it. Practice makes perfect and I already want to wear these suckers and my project still looks like this:

Can we say "EXCITED!!"

-The CraftCrap Queen

¡Here's the jacket my Husband hates!

Now w/added "Chale!"

You should...

I write things. Like all the time. 

Username: CraftCrapQueen

¡BeautyCrap: "Stripper Scrub" & My Gro-Mo Hair Formula!

A few weeks back I wrote this blog post but it magically disappeared. Hopefully this one sticks! 

As a fair skinned Latina (kinda dry combination skin) I've had to deal with the trials of having really dark black facial/body hair...everywhere. And it sucks! When I was a tween I'd brush the haters off and remind them that Frida Khalo had a mean bigoté and she was a bad ass bitch "So there!" No other kids even knew who the hell I was talking about but it was a solid fact to me... So young. So innocent I was!

Fast forward to my woman years, and I no longer welcome the 'stache, along w/accompanying hairy areas. Yes! The cruel world of superficial beauty has infected me. Sorry! But I've come to terms w/ my "issue" and have been on a warpath to eradicate said problem for the last 15 years.

Creams. Tweezers. Wax. Razors.Buff pads. Nads. Ingrown hairs. Pimples. Allergic reactions to hair removal chemicals. Yeah. Been there. Unfortunately done all that. No lasers though. Personal or doctor-style. Ain't nobody got $$$ for that!!! 

So after all that, I have two solutions to share w/ my fellow Fuzzies (even some of you still in the closet about your "issue") that I can vouch for. I'm not sponsored by ANYONE, so take these tips as just personal testimony. It may or may not work for you so don't hit me w/nonsense! DISCLAIMER DONE!

My sister, her homegirl and I refer to this mix as: "The Stripper Scrub" (cuz it makes your skin feel/look so fine you feel like you have the confidence of a bad ass stripper...naked!)

Your gonna need the items you see above except the lemon juice which should come from an ACTUAL lemon. (I didn't have one to take a pic.) Brands don't matter here just the following: olive oil,coconut oil, raw sugar and a lemon. I also forgot to take a pic of a jar to put this concoction in but that seems a lil common sense-ish. It should be like a Mason jar-ish. :P

How much of each ingredient is really gonna depend on the size of your jar. To make it simple I do this mix:

2 parts Raw Sugar

1 part Coconut Oil

1 part Olive Oil

1/2 a Lemon's juice (make sense?)

Put the sugar on the bottom of the jar. Now throw all of the other ingredients. A lil swirl (FYI: it's gonna naturally seperate as it sits) and waaaaaaalaaah!!!!! Your fresh jar o'stripper-scrub is ready!

¡Important to note!

You must use this scrub with a nice HOT shower/bath!! It's the only way your gonna be able to rinse your razor because it will get clogged with the raw sugar crystals and the fact that not-hot water & oil don't mix. Rinse your razor often for a clean shave! And wash this shit down when your done so you don't slip in your shower! 

Alright, jump in your shower and get ready for awesomesauce time! Grab a handful of this mix and scrub the shit outta your fuzzy areas! The raw sugar might hurt a bit if you scrub real good but its like a good hurt ;) Now grab that razor and get to mowin your lawns!!!! 

¡¡¡Important To Note #2!!!

Yes! This lil trick will work on your "girlfriend" down below if you prefer a grass-less golf course without having some lady wax it. Just make sure there's a lil growth for that razor to work with ;) It will also work on your prized female ASSest w/o too many pimple issues. If one does arise use some Tea-Tree Oil and banish that mofo from your sexiness.

NO!  This procedure will NOT WORK on your face so don't even try!! All that oil will fuck your face off so just don't! I got another tip for that shit!

You feelin' silky yet? I bet you fuckin are you sexy craft kittens!!

Now the face hair issue. I've bleached but I STILL have fuzzy hair. They're just blond and look like they got a chemical burn of sorts. I wax the 'stache but it comes back pretty quick (def sooner than the what the package says). Pluck? That's like a 6 hour tweak out on my face session I really don't have time for. Hella scared of deploritories I recently gave Nair's face cream (not the spa clay stuff, the regular $5 bottle) a try because my sister co-signed on it. She understands the struggle so I took her word as valuable. This stuff is awesome as long as you don't follow the instructions that come with it. Let me repeat that again: DONT FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS!!! Srsly! It says to keep it on for 5 mins and put a thick coat. Oh hell nah!! That shit will leave your face feelin a lil Chernobyl-ish. Kinda burnt off, probably gonna have a scab or something! Scary! The trick is putting a LIGHT COAT on and leave it for maybe like 3-4 mins. (Again this is a personal testimony so don't take it as written in stone. Just a tip!) I'm sure they put those instructions there in case you have really coarse hair issues. My sister kinda does but mine is a bit finer and she def agrees with the lighter coat/time. 

Yeahhhhh!!! Now that we all resemble hairless cats lets talk about another hair issue: Hair Loss.

Birth Control will do it. Genetics might get ya. Pregnancy. Stress. Drugs (Pharmaceuticals are the worst!). A bad diet (the food you actually eat). So many of these things a lot of us can't help. I've been losing my hair for what seems like forever and while I know this is a natural process, I know I've advanced it with things like Nexplanon, Depo-provera bad dietary choices, pregnancies and some good ol' stress. I've asked lots of hairdressers for advice. Some say there is very little that can be done & others give a glimmer of hope with a dose of Nioxin "vitamin" pills. I bought those once for like $30 and it didn't do anything. What to do...

Pintrest always has a pin about the greatness of coconut oil and the knowledge really shouldn't be ignored. The shit is glorious and when added to equal parts water and olive oil in a spray bottle your asking for some beautiful ass hair!! Obviously it's gonna make your pelos all shiny, but after a good 3 months of using said mix in my usual brush my hair sessions I started noticing my bald spots weren't so prevalent. REAL TALK! My baby girl was the real reason I tried this experiment because she has crazy ass uncontrollable hair and I didn't want to use any chemicals on her lil cabeza. And though its wild, it's very thin and slow to grow. Again, same results: more hair! So here you go... My "Gro-Mo" Hair Formula:

-One Part Water

-One Part Coconut Oil

-One Part Olive Oil

SHAKE! SHAKE! SHAKE! Before spraying. ***Dont Spray a Bunch! Your hair WILL GET OILY!!***

 

That's it. I'm all outta hair removal/growth tips. I hope these help you get your sexy on while you craft your heart out in these streetz!

D.I.Y 4 Life

-The CraftCrap Queen

**Like I said before, I am NOT sponsored by anyone (Shieeeetttt I wish sometimes!!). Everything I shared was from a personal experience that I thought would be helpful to all you lovely folks. If your allergic to anything listed, DONT use it! Duh!**

¡CraftCrap: Bad Decisions!

We all do it. Go overboard on a project. Go the WRONG way with a vision? See a final product and say "Wtf was I thinking?" 

Here's my latest moment of such: 

I actually started this LAST summer and recently pulled it out of the CraftCrap vault for a rethink. It probably should have stayed there a lil bit longer because while the back here might not look too shabby, I can't exactly say the same about the front...

I dunno. I guess I was thinking cheetah print=cat=meow. And I like cats. But my font (freehand) doesn't work. The silver and gold paint doesn't really match the yellow spots. And the glitter? Really?

My Sharpie paint pens basically ran out so I'm stuck like chuck till I head to Home Depot for $5 pack of oil paint goodness. Back into the vault you go fair shorts ;*( Maybe next time!

-The CraftCrap Queen

¡CraftCrap Quickie: Mrs.Roper Headband!

I've really been after a Mrs.Roper (Threes Company young folks!) turban headband. Another Pintrest "Inspired Like A Mofo " pin! Somethings are just classic and that's just what this headband is to me, especially since I did it with serape patterned fabric: MY FAVORITE COLOR!!!! To up the CraftCrap ante on this quickie, I used the bottom half of a Billabong tank top I was resizing from a men's size small to a women's cute marge (that's a medium/large for those ain't known.).

<3¡Totally crushing on my new head gear! <3

-The CraftCrap Queen

¡CraftCrap Cutouts: Skull Revamp!

I was in straight CraftCrap G mode the other night. Revamping here. Accessorizing there. I was seriously on a hot one. Dunno what came over me. Coulda been my hefty pinning session earlier... Actually it was that heavy ass pinning that got me thinking I needed to drop the phone and get to making already!!!!

I super heart these cutout shirts and blouses I've been seeing lately so I decided to take a stab (cut) at it. Referenced a few pins under the "skull cut out tee" search term. 

Boom!

I bought this tshirt before she got her own show because I knew when I saw her on Miami Ink, she was like a long lost sister of style that I never knew. As far as I know this design ain't even available no mo!

After marveling at my newest IT piece, I attempted to connect with my long lost sister of style via Twitter to see if she would indeed nod in affirmation that this was an awesomely solid revamp... And then this happened: 

Lesson here my dear friends: You can do all things through CraftCrap ;)

-Cuts & Stitches Ma Bishes!!!

The CraftCrap Queen

¡Craft Porn!

¡CraftCrap 101: Teaching Myself One-Stroke!

At age 14 I learned to Pinstripe out of the world-famous Cerritos Community College auto body department. Little did I know it was an art form that I would hold dear to my heart for the rest of my life. The art itself seems basic: straight lines and swirls. But put to the challenge of a squirrel-haired 000 sword brush and I dare you to try it yourself w/o a mentor or a fabricated tool! ... Yeah. That's what I thought! Simple Sally it ain't.

With my background, I figured one-stroke painting was probably the same thing: looks easy, probably isn't. 

Bingo!

I took a few unnecessary bathroom breaks and peeped some YouTube vids on the subject. Pintrested a few "one-stroke" pins & boards. Stared real hard at these cool hair clips my mom got me at the swap meet...

I was ready. 

I tried all my brushes to see if there was some shortcuts to be had. None really tho. It's gonna take A LOT of practice to be like that chick Donna Dewberry (mad props to her skills!) but for what I needed the skill for, my rudimentary attempt wasn't too bad ;)

What project might I need this skill set for? You ask... Muhahahhahahahaha.

You shall see Mis amigo/as! You shall see...

-The CraftCrap Queen

¡Craft Attack Quickie!

As soon as I posted this, my sister text me : "Permanent Borrow" A.K.A I'm stealing this. Get over it.

¡Craft Crap: It's Wide-Mouth Time!

Back when I was a young Daria-esque teenager, I had swooped up this 70's style heather grey dolman sweatshirt from my mom's closet. All vintage comfy and errything! Just thinking about it gets me fuzzy inside. It had been awhile since I had seen such lines on a sweater/top until these young whipper snappers started digging in the fashion crates of history. With that, now it seems like store racks are overflowing with wide-mouthed necklines. Add that to this short but wide cut trend thing going on, and a flidget (=fluffy midget) like me is in clothes heaven!! 

Awhile back, my fellow flidget G'Ma picked me up a Snoopy tshirt from the Steinmart clearance rack during my post-baby chubby chub days and it had said wide-mouth/dolman cut steez. Not big on Snoopy (but I do love Knotts!), I decided to add my own version to the wardrobe with the tackiest most inappropriate fabric for such a design: Clearance flannel Maracas material from Walmart! YES!

I've had been waiting for the perfect project just like this for my fabric and the accompanying detail materials were a by-chance on hand gift from the craft gods! 

I took the Snoopy shirt and placed it (inside out) half way onto the fold of my Maracas material. Then I whipped out the ol' ruler and marking pencil and added an inch to the edges all the way around. Had G'Ma been there she would have smacked me with my ruler and yelled out "5/8ths!!!!!!!" And she woulda been right. 

Dasssssssssssss!

Snip. Snip. Snip and there is one side!

I took this piece and laid it out the same as the Snoopy shirt and got two pieces:

*Always iron your fabric. Don't be a lazy ass like me! Makes all the difference. TRUST!

The front neckline cut is something I freestyled based on the Snoopy shirt. If it ain't broke...you know!

Right sides together; edges hemmed up and something called clothes has been created.

After flipping it inside out I had myself a midriff medical scrub... thing. Ugh. That inch around I measured ended up biting me in the ass didn't it?! (Dammmit G'ma!! Where are you when I need you? Watching Dr.Oz huh!) 

Time to make wine outta sour grapes. ¡¡¡¡¡Accessorize!!!!!

G'Ma sent me the triangle buttons a long time ago and she always makes sure that my craft closets have jewels. A wee bit of Aleene's Glass & Bead adhesive keeps the gems in place. I added some rough hand embroidery to the edges with an uneven slip stitch in various accompanying colors. Tried putting some gold glitter glue on the yellow spiral dots but as I learned with those "Free City"-style chola pajama pants, it's probably gonna come off in the laundry :(

All good though. I can live with the final product regardless.

A pair of black leggings and a cute ballerina bun is gonna pull the look all together. I'm thinking my simple gold-tone rose studs will make it sweet and the Maracas will keep it spicy.

Just another jaunt with my random but much loved CraftCrap. :)

-CraftCrap Queen